Should have added a “too?” to the end of that one bud.

Of course I do. I don’t single thread this shit. I multithread it like a boss. I’m an advanced over achiever of negative thought processing.

Honestly, my social anxiety might be the most frustrating of all the anxieties I have.

Let’s say I get invited to a Texas Hold’em poker party at a friend’s house. I love the friend. I love playing Texas Hold’em. I especially love playing Texas Hold’em with friends.

Let me pause here. This is important background. I play Texas Hold’em with the same people every time. The exact same people. Literally every time. There’s not a single one I don’t like.

For a good 1-2 weeks before the party, I will anxiously obsess about having to go. Each day with a little more anxiety because the date is of course getting closer.

The date I get to go do the thing I love with the people I love. Absolute torture.

When the day arrives, I’m at peak anxiety but I force myself to go.

I get there. I avoid any unneeded conversations. I sit down with the people I just avoided and start playing and the anxiety fades away and I begin to enjoy myself and chat up the people I just avoided.

Why? Why did I have to suffer almost two weeks agonizing over having to go to a poker party where once I get there I know I’ll have fun. I know I will, I do every time. I have been to so many poker parties with these friends.

But still I dread it. For weeks.

Anxiety is a bitch.