I’ve been an open book about my anxiety issues for many years now. I understand how horrible it can be. I get it, I live it.

I mention on my homepage about my diagnosis of major depressive disorder (MDD) over the past year. I’ve never known a sadness more powerful than my depression causes.

It’s laying on the bathroom floor bawling my eyes out thinking everything good in my life was being taken away.

Similar to my anxiety, my depression is over things that at least in the past twelve months haven’t happened.

Sometimes when these “episodes” hit I’ll sob over absolutely nothing. A grown man with a wife and two grown sons. An amazing career and family. A sadness that no human should ever have to feel.

It’s wild.

My last episode was just a few weeks ago. I was on the bathroom floor sobbing over nothing. Sobbing.

I remember screaming, “why does this only happen to me!? I fuckin’ hate it!”

This episode lasted longer than usual, about five days. My ebbs and flows drive me nuts. I can be happy about life one day and then laying in my dark basement the next hoping the sorrow goes away.

Once it was gone I remembered what I screamed and realized that it’s not only me. There are millions suffering.

I remember the first time I went to see a therapist around fifteen years ago. As I described the anxious feelings I was having and the negative impact they had on my life, she was nodding her head. I said are there other people like me?

She said, “yep, you are not alone.”

I vividly remember the absolute relief I felt when I heard those words. Before that, I’d think to myself, “I have to be going crazy. This isn’t normal. Nobody could ever imagine how I feel.”

When she said I wasn’t alone. That was life changing.

That’s why I’m here. If I can help anybody with theirs by telling them about mine, that would be amazing.

Stay strong. There is always hope. I’m living proof.