“why am I even here?”
It’s sad to realize the number of times I’ve asked myself that question.
The number of times I’ve not wanted to be alive.
This is the hardest part to explain about my nearly lifelong anxiety and relatively new depression (because having anxiety wasn’t enough for this overachiever).
I’m not suicidal, it’s just that sometimes I don’t want to be alive on this planet.
“Well isn’t that a suicidal thought?”
No, for me it’s not. I don’t want to die, I have a lot to live for. But man, sometimes I really, and I mean really don’t want to exist.
I know that doesn’t make sense to most people but it’s a thought I’ve repeated far more often in my life than any person should have to.
Do you or someone you know need help? Reach out to the 988 Lifeline.
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